tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1894090183415114132024-02-07T16:34:48.505-08:00Digit Says...Digit Murphyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07564715196040324558noreply@blogger.comBlogger27125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-189409018341511413.post-68952817380960591012018-10-26T13:31:00.000-07:002018-10-26T13:31:08.123-07:00See It Be It<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjb7_if-wednayKtW3jP-r-7h8qxP6dkTg8B99qYao_K_gX4UlfU60EjiDIG0fe4mVXN-8SKS557hi1F8HVkV5XAZAv-Lc-ELyiK-kMtzOTiXPgbjWHQia1FoFKqtuL0wZP5GUo_fCXS9M/s1600/Digit+Blades+player.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1067" data-original-width="1600" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjb7_if-wednayKtW3jP-r-7h8qxP6dkTg8B99qYao_K_gX4UlfU60EjiDIG0fe4mVXN-8SKS557hi1F8HVkV5XAZAv-Lc-ELyiK-kMtzOTiXPgbjWHQia1FoFKqtuL0wZP5GUo_fCXS9M/s320/Digit+Blades+player.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="background-color: white; color: #828282; font-family: "open sans" , "helvetica" , "arial" , "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #828282; font-family: "open sans" , "helvetica" , "arial" , "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">How do we become </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #828282; font-family: "open sans" , "helvetica" , "arial" , "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">who we want to be? In my experience of raising our own 6 children and coaching 30 years in sports- the ideas of who we want to be start with a dream or vision. They are a culmination of experiences that we give our children. They are what we see WHO we see, and where we see things happen. When young people are exposed to things they start to think about who they are now and who they want to be. When I coached at Brown, I will never forget going to a prep school tourney at Christmas time back in the mid 2000’s my daughter Meaghan was 9 years old. I took the view books of prep schools home and gave them to her. Her eyes lit up cautiously-Meaghan was and still is a deep thinker. I know she looked at the pictures in the books and dreamed to one day be at a prep school. Now at that time I had no idea that Meaghan would go on to attend Nobles and then onto to Boston University and have two incredible educational experiences. But what I DO know is that the seeds and ideas were planted in her head, and that it allowed her so see what she could become. If we challenge our children and are good examples to them and teach them to have the best core values and also give them the best experiences, they will rise to the challenges we put before them and achieve! They will become leaders and more importantly great humans that will go onto to do incredible things to make a better world for all of us! #seeitbeit #itstartswiththekids</span></div>
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Here is a great role model and leader for our country-Congrats to Lt. General Laura J. Richardson you are a true leader and role model!</div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Florida SAHOF Girls Team on the Brown Campus</td></tr>
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<a href="https://americanmilitarynews.com/2018/10/for-first-time-a-woman-heads-us-armys-largest-command/?utm_medium=facebook&utm_campaign=alt&utm_source=dvf" rel="noopener" style="color: #4670b5; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" target="_blank" title="Click here to read the General’s Story">Click here to read the General’s Story</a></div>
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Digit Murphyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07564715196040324558noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-189409018341511413.post-77375062270963361622018-04-10T15:35:00.001-07:002018-04-10T15:35:40.907-07:00Asiago Press Conference<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="text-align: left;"><b>This was the opening press conference at the Worlds--great stuff! </b></span></h3>
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<span style="text-align: left;"><b><a href="http://www.iihf.com/competition/658/" target="_blank">IIHF WOMENS WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP</a></b></span></div>
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Opening Press Conference Asiago Italy<br />
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<b><a href="https://www.facebook.com/IIHFWorldChampionshipAsiago/videos/1718005261619036/UzpfSTEwMzMyOTA2ODA6MTAyMTQzMTAxMTI2ODAwNDM/" target="_blank">Click here to check out the 34 Minute Mark!</a></b><br />
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Digit Murphyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07564715196040324558noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-189409018341511413.post-67900733674534835162018-04-05T03:53:00.000-07:002018-04-05T03:53:05.630-07:00TEAM CHINA ASIAGO WORLD CHAMPIONSHIPS 2018!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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Team China vs U17 Asiago Boys</h2>
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April 5, 2018</div>
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We played a u17 boys team yesterday! Asiago home club--Thanks to their players and coaches to help us tune up for Worlds this week!</div>
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Anyone that wants to watch our games on the live stream here is the link!!! http://www.iihf.com/competition/658/live-stream/ go China!!!</div>
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Digit Murphyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07564715196040324558noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-189409018341511413.post-92050917766258131782015-11-02T04:17:00.001-08:002015-11-02T05:37:58.018-08:00Where Are All the Women Coaches? Women's Leadership is Important in All Aspects of Life<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Jen Welter First Female Coach in the NFL</td></tr>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #404040; font-family: Roboto, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">I recently participated in a panel discussion on the campus of U Mass Lowell at the class of my friend Jeffrey Gerson. Jeff has been one of the thought leaders in regard to gender as it relates to sport. Jeff wrote a study back in 2012 that highlighted the significant change in NCAA women's sports as it related to the increase of men coaching women specifically in ice hockey. Jeff's study highlighted the fact that men dominated the number of head coaches positions in ice hockey by an amazing 82% to only 18% women in 2014. The previous years numbers were 1998 male to female ratio of 50%-50% and in 2006 males began to dominate the field to 62%-</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #404040; font-family: Roboto, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">38%</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #404040; font-family: Roboto, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">. Now women comprise only 18%.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #404040; font-family: Roboto, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">Jeff was ahead of the curve in his thought process as <a href="http://fortune.com/2015/09/14/womens-college-sports-coaches/">Fortune Magazine</a> came out with an article on September 15, 2015 that reported: "in 1972, 90% of women's sports were coached by women and in 2012 that number dropped to 42.9%". The number of women who coach men's teams on the other hand has stayed the same--in 1972, only 2% of coaches of men's programs (all sports) were coached by a female and forty years later, in 2012 that number had not changed it remained at 2%. There has NEVER been a female head coach of a men's ice hockey team in Division 1. It has been my experience--too many years to count-- that once a sport takes off and makes money and has resources (NCAA) or has money (CLUB positions in youth sports) then we see a <b>decline</b> in women's leadership </span><span style="color: #404040; font-family: Roboto, arial, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><span style="line-height: 18px;">opportunities and a sharp increase in opportunities for men.</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #404040; font-family: Roboto, arial, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><span style="line-height: 18px;"><br /></span></span><span style="color: #404040; font-family: Roboto, arial, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><span style="line-height: 18px;"><a href="http://www.brainshark.com/uml/Women_Hockey_Coaches">Gerson's Study</a> points to slow growth in women's leadership opportunities in sport. Female Athletic Directors continue to only creep in number. </span></span><span style="color: #404040; font-family: Roboto, arial, sans-serif; font-size: x-small; line-height: 18px;">A slight increase in w</span><span style="color: #404040; font-family: Roboto, arial, sans-serif; font-size: x-small; line-height: 18px;">omen ADs in NCAA has occurred from 19% in 2006 and 22% in 2013. Academic studies show that typically when the AD is female, more females are likely to be hired. (Side bar question--I can't help but bring it back to ice hockey...then why are the numbers in hockey still rapidly declining--even the AD number is getting a little better--I'm scratching my head at this one ;)</span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">A Woman's Touch</td></tr>
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<span style="color: #404040; font-family: Roboto, arial, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><span style="line-height: 18px;">The recent panel: "The Business of Sports-Women's Professional Sports" was awesome because the speakers gave different perspectives on this and other interesting topics in women's sports. Participants were Shira Springer of the Boston Globe, Jeff Plush of the NWSL, </span></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">Leslie Osbourne of the NWSL, and yours truly. </span><span style="color: #404040; font-family: Roboto, arial, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><span style="line-height: 18px;">I have to give </span></span><span style="color: #404040; font-family: Roboto, arial, sans-serif; font-size: x-small; line-height: 18px;">Jeff Plush credit--</span><span style="color: #404040; font-family: Roboto, arial, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><span style="line-height: 18px;">when a student questioned him about hiring women in coaching, and how many opportunities they had in the NWSL, he commented that the soccer league had to do a better job hiring more women and that he was committed to getting that accomplished as one of </span></span><span style="color: #404040; font-family: Roboto, arial, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><span style="line-height: 18px;">their initiatives. I was actually pretty shocked as there was only ONE head female coach in TEN opportunities!! But it still begs the question...WHERE ARE ALL THE WOMEN COACHES??</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #404040; font-family: Roboto, arial, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><span style="line-height: 18px;">I am really not sure anymore why this is happening. Most of the blame is placed on relationship building and networks that men have with each other--"The Good Ol' Boy" network. We all know that most hires in any job happen as a result of knowing someone who we have worked with before in some previous experience. In addition, I think that not only are the guys more hungry and motivated for the positions, but I also see that the female players have an aversion to being coached by women. This phenomena</span></span><span style="color: #404040; font-family: Roboto, arial, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><span style="line-height: 18px;"> I see as incredibly alarming for our future female coaches. A head female coach must have excellent credentials and excellent relationship management skills to get buy in from her players. Even then it is rare that she will get it completely. This must change if we are to elevate women to top positions in </span></span><span style="color: #404040; font-family: Roboto, arial, sans-serif; font-size: x-small; line-height: 18px;">sports. </span><br />
<span style="color: #404040; font-family: Roboto, arial, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><span style="line-height: 18px;"><br /></span><span style="line-height: 18px;">The fact that there are no female coaches start in the youth sport arena. I am a proud parent and I was very involved in my kids' sports lives. But I must say that my own coaching position precluded me from coaching my kids' teams. I occasionally did classroom and gym class volunteering. I ran the occasional practice so that both my sons and daughters classmates heard a woman's voice in sport and hopefully went on to respect females in the sport space. We are trying to do our part in our family! My now 20 (almost 21) year old daughter, I am proud to say is on the Youth Soccer Board and is the Head Coach of the U12 Elite Girls soccer team. Meaghan is one of the few young women who coach at the competitive level. This must get better if we want a woman's voice at the "sports table". Now this is where the numbers of women need to improve if we want leaders to improve. Seeing women as sports leaders begins at a young age--kids, both boys and girls need to see their role models and leaders in both genders. With the absence of women in the sports space in the youth leagues, it perpetuates our lack of visibility in these leadership positions in the higher levels, including professional, of sports.</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #404040; font-family: Roboto, arial, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><span style="line-height: 18px;">Now I am definitely NOT blaming women. In fact to add coaching as another responsibility for women in the family dynamic could seem insurmountable! Women not only are holding down the fort in today's households, in many cases they also are the primary bread winners! There is not an easy answer...EXCEPT that if we want to succeed at this, ultimately we must make it a FAMILY priority to be leaders in the community as women. This must include SPORTS. It takes a strong presence from men supporting women. So Dad's, even though sports are what you love and where you want to be (on the sports pedestals)... we sometimes need you to step aside for the good of your daughters AND sons. It is important to hear BOTH voices in all power positions and sports are a microcosm of life. Think about it...it will help your son immensely to take direction form a woman (bedsides his mom and teacher). Some day he WILL have a female boss I can guarantee that so he might as well get used to it! So let's get more moms out there to lead the charge. If our vision of equity in sports </span></span><span style="color: #404040; font-family: Roboto, arial, sans-serif; font-size: x-small; line-height: 18px;">starts with moms I guarantee it will get done and we will FIND the female coaches to lead a generation!</span></div>
Digit Murphyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07564715196040324558noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-189409018341511413.post-86319132218527748222015-10-26T08:07:00.000-07:002015-10-26T08:07:37.881-07:00Confessions of a Reformed "YELL and TELLER" Coach<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Coming off a recent successful tourney with our all female staff at the <a href="http://www.unionathletics.com/index.aspx?path=whockey">Union College tourney</a>, and then a few weeks back at the Harvard Showcase. I was reminded of why the empowerment philosophy works with young athletes today especially girls. Since leaving the college ranks, I have embarked on a new coaching philosophy that we call FREE Hockey--it is <b>F</b>un<b> R</b>espectful <b>E</b>nergetic and <b>E</b>nthusiastic ! This acronym not only describes what we want to project and impart on our players it actually describes a style of coaching where the player is "free" and can make their own decisions! It is empowering to play for us and it shows as the players are always laughing smiling and more importantly ENJOYING the experience of "FREE" Hockey!<br />
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Now I gotta tell ya...I was the biggest offender in the past of yelling and telling my players what to do--after all wasn't this what a coach was supposed to do? These were all of the pictures that I had seen over the years?? So yelling and telling was ingrained in me--it was the way coaches were! Deep down, it just wasn't who I was, and frankly didn't feel right, but I continued with my ego at the top of the pile and my instincts of nurturing buried deep. If I let out the compassion surely it was the end of my coaching career--"soft" would be my label--no coach wants that!</div>
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I felt like I needed to change but couldn't--I had already marched down the road--how could I now be collaborative? How could I now care about the feelings of my athletes? Wasn't that soft? I was the Bobby Knight of women's hockey I was a success with this demanding, insane, demeanor! It worked back then...the problem however was that as today's athletes get more nurtured in the youth ranks, when sports become collaborative and focus on team, the athlete gets mixed signals and the "yell and tell" doesn't work. I wanted to change but the support system where I was employed was not there for me. And that is for another blog ;)</div>
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As I now look back on my 23 years in the PAID profession of coaching NCAA hockey, I want to encourage coaches to have the confidence to trust their players! Empower them to take risks, engage in a dialogue with them, and most importantly don't be afraid to be wrong! After all you are only human!</div>
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In both weekends in our "FREE HOCKEY" system, I saw smiles, improvement, collaboration, laughing, having fun, but still dedication, commitment to working hard, and wanting to learn more. It really does work but takes confidence, patience, and practice on the coach's part. The environment that you create is incredibly important for teams to succeed. True coaching is allowing your players to make mistakes and the secret is to correct them with a discerning eye. Because there are players who like a firm hand, others will shut down with just a stern look...you have to know them and want to help them get better. The yell and teller might be gone in me but the true educator is alive and well! Our foundation <a href="http://www.playitforwardsport.org/">PLAY IT FORWARD SPORT</a> will continue to educate lead and help people understand why sports was created, why the community needs sport, and why it is important to have women at the table in ALL levels of sports. Stay tuned...more on PIFS to come!</div>
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Digit Murphyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07564715196040324558noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-189409018341511413.post-7223305335942505302015-10-12T17:54:00.000-07:002015-10-28T11:30:14.177-07:00The NW or the CW--Where is the Pro Women's Hockey Game Headed?<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13pt;">Well the season has <a href="http://www.cbssports.com/nhl/eye-on-hockey/25335906/nwhl-first-paid-womens-pro-hockey-league-drops-puck-on-first-season">kicked off for the NW</a></span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13pt;">, exciting for the players many of whom I have coached in the past</span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13pt;">—as a person that has been in the sport of ice hockey for a very long time (since 1972) and </span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13pt;">cares deeply about</span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13pt;"> the game of hockey in and of itself, I am writing this as </span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13pt;">food for thought/conversation regarding the direction</span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13pt;"> of the women’s hockey leagues that are competing for the same thing: respect for athletes, respect for the game, and</span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13pt;"> a sustainable, viable business model that leads to revenue and fan growth</span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13pt;">!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13pt;">Currently, n</span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13pt;">ine women's hockey teams presently exist</span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13pt;"> spread among two competing leagues</span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13pt;">. This seems excessive to me</span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13pt;"> from a sustainability and growth perspective</span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13pt;">. After spending three years in the CW I can </span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13pt;">attest to the fact that </span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13pt;">that it is a "heavy lift" and a grind to get these three objectives reached. So the</span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13pt;"> questions to consider are</span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13pt;"> are: how do we promote of the game, how do we gain respect in the market</span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13pt;"> that in turn will lead to revenue and sponsorship opportunities</span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13pt;">, and how do we consistently get fans out to the games? </span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13pt;">How does </span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13pt;">women's hockey get the followers it needs to sustain salaries? </span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13pt;"> Today </span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13pt;">Men's hockey even struggles for a fan base in certain cities...</span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13pt;">so it will be interesting to see what the response is to this new and exciting endeavor</span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13pt;">.</span><span style="font-family: Times, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><u></u><u></u></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13pt;">I ask myself where are the powers that be on all of this? Clearly they are divided. Where is the best training for the Olympians? Canada says its their league--the CW...US says theirs--the NW? Where is the overall sport going? I guess time will tell</span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13pt;"> but considering the NHL is a combined US and Canadian league wouldn’t it make sense to do the same in the women’s space…….combining the best talent in the US and Canada……?</span><span style="font-family: Times, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><u></u><u></u></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13pt;">What w</span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13pt;">ould be a huge step</span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13pt;"> is a female centric model in sport--where females are given leadership opportunities which include coaching, general managing, assistant coaching, operations, of course playing the sport they love for a salary. Honing in on these objectives is essential to helping to grow sports </span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13pt;">on</span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13pt;">the women’s side</span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13pt;"> while attracting better sponsorship opportunities.</span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13pt;">A woman centric model is important and crucial to</span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13pt;"> highlight the value of women in sport and what they bring to the table. To date </span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13pt;">there is not enough</span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13pt;"> talk about this </span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13pt;">but it is a topic that is gaining momentum and is relevant today</span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13pt;">. </span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13pt;">I</span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13pt;">n general</span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13pt;"> the opposite is usually the case……</span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13pt;"> we talk about women in sports in a negative context especially in leadership positions- in terms of not being qualified, not having enough women coaches not having enough years experience, not enough competency in X’s and O’s, etc</span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13pt;">…….</span><span style="font-family: Times, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><u></u><u></u></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13pt;">The reality is that </span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13pt;"> most of the time in the women’s vertical we </span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13pt;">copy men in </span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13pt;">what</span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13pt;"> we do. So it is </span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13pt;">not surprising </span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13pt;">that the NW has a male model and believes in its success. The male sports model is driving revenue and exposure to the game through ownership of teams and athletes. The revenue comes from ticket sales, merchandise sales, an investor-funding source, and the potential to have TV, which can ultimately drive sponsorship. </span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13pt;">Key questions: </span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13pt;">what differentiates the NW from other women's sports? Why </span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13pt;">is it that </span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13pt;">soccer which has tons more people playing the sport can’t succeed</span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13pt;"> at the woman’s pro level</span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13pt;">. How </span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13pt;">has </span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13pt;">basketball finally risen to be somewhat successful. I</span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13pt;">s it because </span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13pt;">they receive a substantial amount of funding from the NBA? The CW on the other ha</span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13pt;">n</span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13pt;">d appears to value the role of women more</span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13pt;"> but doesn’t have a model that is economically viable currently</span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13pt;">, </span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13pt;">perhaps the reason many CW players left for the US league that will pay them….</span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13pt;">. Growth was too slow for the US side</span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13pt;"> with the CW</span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13pt;">. Thus the US players put </span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px;">stock in</span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13pt;"> the NW model.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13pt;">What </span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13pt;">may be hurting</span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13pt;"> the whole process is the lack of collaboration </span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13pt;">which would allow us to</span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13pt;"> actually look for a <a href="http://www.playitforwardsport.org/">sustainable model for females</a> that will “</span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13pt;">win</span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13pt;"> the day”!! It is something that requires experience, buy in, and respect for the game</span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13pt;"> as well as forwarding thinking as it relates to the future and viability of Professional women’s sports</span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13pt;">. The inherent boarder war between the US and Canada does not help this cause</span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13pt;"> but it was overcome in the NHL and should be here too</span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13pt;">. It </span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13pt;">should not have been</span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13pt;"> inevitable that the two countries vying for a gold medal would part and not come together</span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13pt;">…..I believe everyone loses with this approach….there is a strength in numbers period</span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13pt;">. </span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13pt;">The solution to this hockey pro sports model is </span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13pt;">collaboration and meaningful dialogue focused on long term success working as one that </span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13pt;">focuses on respect for the game, and above all respect for women in sports</span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13pt;">!<u></u><u></u></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13pt;">As someone who has seen opportunities decrease not increase for women in leadership positions in the NCAA—I am </span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13pt;">writing this as a call to action for all women in sports. Let's figure this out and create a model for all sports led by women for women</span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13pt;">. </span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13pt;">If we do this the revenue and sponsors will follow as will a fundamental shift in sports that is reflective of the same shift going on in society-equality for woman on all levels. But it takes sacrifice and a long term perspective that can and will be done at some point.</span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: Times, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><u></u><u></u></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;">The</span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13pt;"> unrelenting, hopelessly optimistic leader in me </span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13pt;">hopes to help stimulate </span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13pt;">the conversation that some day perhaps people will embrace a paradigm shift and wake up to the fact that women copying men is destine for failure—be women, be proud, and be confident!</span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13pt;"> </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13pt;">More to come about the paradigm shift—stay tuned!</span><span style="color: black; font-family: Times, serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"><u></u><u></u></span></div>
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Digit Murphyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07564715196040324558noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-189409018341511413.post-80397710864301334112014-12-22T08:46:00.000-08:002014-12-22T08:51:11.060-08:00GENDER EQUITY IN COACHING SET BACK CENTURIES AT UMD<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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This is a letter I recently sent to the AD at UMD--Shannon has been a long time friend and respected colleague and I firmly believe that she is onto greener pastures. However, I want to be clear she should be given the choice to move on. The ridiculousness of this decision will hopefully inspire many of us who have done nothing about other female coaches being mistreated and fired to become active in our collective opinions to value women leaders and role models! </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8vixD1Lug_elKplztFMDq_kGyQL6c9w7E3ophL6ZdrPgwVOl8Rsj_zVj6JG0o7MdI0mmlPo2IENIXW9klnTW_NrJk45IgDGvhHGIAdwB0kkGzQA4r9vR60Bm8cCJarLbzsDnbHoc7Ci0/s1600/10857756_428907770594927_1670302946896632848_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8vixD1Lug_elKplztFMDq_kGyQL6c9w7E3ophL6ZdrPgwVOl8Rsj_zVj6JG0o7MdI0mmlPo2IENIXW9klnTW_NrJk45IgDGvhHGIAdwB0kkGzQA4r9vR60Bm8cCJarLbzsDnbHoc7Ci0/s1600/10857756_428907770594927_1670302946896632848_n.jpg" height="151" width="400" /></a></div>
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Dear AD Berlo,</div>
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Not sure what the circumstances are around Coach Miller's firing, but as a long time leader in women's sports and as someone who has supported your staff over the years, I could not be more disappointed in your decision. I will not go on a long-winded diatribe about this as I am sure you have already heard countless times--on the can of worms that you opened--about valuing women in our community, respecting women's leadership, respecting half of the population on the planet and what your decision implies. I am sure you've heard it all. All true and their versions probably much more articulate than mine!</div>
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The silver lining in all of this much like the Brown Court case in the 90's, is that your decision has activated a group of people, both men and women, who are dumbfounded, outraged, and quite frankly pissed off that this behavior can continue to exist in the male dominated paradigm at UMD. The shift to the female model of leadership is occurring and is going to happen. I would like to thank you for help in furthering the cause. And in my humble opinion, Shannon Miller is way too talented to be in limited, insensitive, and dead end environment that seems to exist at UMD for women. She doesn't know it now but you did a coach and leader like Shannon Miller a huge favor and also re-ignited a fire that all women coaches should have had for a long time!</div>
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Sincerely,</div>
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Digit Murphy</div>
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Digit Murphyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07564715196040324558noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-189409018341511413.post-84603558443329199372014-12-16T05:57:00.000-08:002014-12-16T05:57:55.966-08:00Hockey and Poetry--Knowing My Players???<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<b><br /></b><i><b>A Shift in Sports
Culture?</b></i></h2>
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Headed back to Boston after a fabulous weekend in Toronto at the
CWHL All Star game.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Top Ten
reasons it was fabulous?</div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-fareast-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">1.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]-->There were 7,000 fans in the Air Canada Center
cheering for our game and our fantastic athletes who fervently play the game
that they love, the greatest game on earth for no formal compensation.<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-fareast-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-fareast-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">2.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]-->The game was televised<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>by Sportsnet in Canada and the NHL network in the US in
front of millions of viewers.<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-fareast-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-fareast-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">3.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]-->The Toronto Maple Leafs one of the oldest NHL
franchises in history believes in our Commissioner Brenda Andress's and the
CWHL Executive Board's vision to put women's hockey on the map.<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-fareast-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-fareast-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">4.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]-->That<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>(insert number) US and Canadian National and Olympic players played in
the CWHL<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>All Star game and
that there were more who could not participate due to employment commitments-so
the game could have had even MORE talent!<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-fareast-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-fareast-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">5.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]-->That we haven't even scratched the surface on
what women can do in the sport of ice hockey to make a difference by being role
models in our culture.<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-fareast-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-fareast-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">6.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]-->That people are just beginning to find out about
the amazing academic and athletic backgrounds of these future leaders in sport
and society.</div>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-fareast-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-fareast-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">7.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]-->That the new female model in sport is emerging
as a "wholesome" alternative to the sports market and that corporate
executives are getting on board!<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-fareast-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-fareast-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">8.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]-->That when the lights go up and the cameras are
on us the women shine and light up the room....<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-fareast-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-fareast-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">9.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]-->And everyone smiles with them (not at them)! THE
FANS are part of the experience because our female athletes are approachable
and accessible. <span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-fareast-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-fareast-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">10.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Finally that our players write
poetry...and can even sing the national anthem when called upon.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Examples of blending personal talents
and sport that connect with people watching symbolize the new paradigm shift in
sport to include a female model that potentially all can enjoy! Even little
boys and men.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We are people first
and bring our own<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>biases and
individual outlooks and opinions to yes even sport!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Women's sports create a new, diverse, and exciting
environment that is not necessarily<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>better than the present model...just a little different!<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-fareast-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-font-family: Helvetica;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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And lastly the inspiration to write this post is from the All
Star weekend program book...while perusing it I stumbled upon an answer to a
survey style question in the program for one of my own players--one of our
captains Kacey Bellamy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>One of the
things that she enjoys doing is writing poetry!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It reminded me that I have to pay better attention as a
coach to know more about my players...a good coach in the new model knows their
players, treats them as individuals, the figures out how to connect the group
to optimize the performance of the team.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>The "yell and tell" model is becoming obsolete and I am happy
to be championing the new model of sports management as we continue to blend
sport and society within our modern culture! </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGvTad_8lM-15qirnwdta31HodyTvH_iHuqRwBcO2UvSTvwxr8VBToPW9s7cdYqjcdJOqYT1lkjB4sWy_7m4lUs_id08kdc13kmPh8e8K_VCwPmNBHq_qSSGlrh0KKbgb_N84iKm9c_zE/s1600/Bells++allstarphoto+2.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGvTad_8lM-15qirnwdta31HodyTvH_iHuqRwBcO2UvSTvwxr8VBToPW9s7cdYqjcdJOqYT1lkjB4sWy_7m4lUs_id08kdc13kmPh8e8K_VCwPmNBHq_qSSGlrh0KKbgb_N84iKm9c_zE/s1600/Bells++allstarphoto+2.JPG" height="240" width="320" /></a></div>
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Kacey Bellemy (right) with Red Team Captain Charline LaBonte</div>
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Here is a sample of Kacey's poetry!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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<b><i>Interaction By Kacey Bellemy--2 Time US Olympian Silver Medalist-- 4 year member and Captain Boston Blades</i></b></h2>
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Fighting the morning wake up not wanting to step into the day ahead</div>
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Robotically moving through routined actions</div>
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Happy one day miserable the next, surrounded in a body of armor that we use to shield our emotions </div>
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Smiles used to conceal tears, laughter to hide pain, paper and pen to diminish speech</div>
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Time controlling us, never stopping always moving forward, stuck in the hourglass of thoughts running backwards</div>
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Bed sheets warming by the minute thoughts swirling by the second adapting to the sounds of nature on the outside but captured by the vibrations within </div>
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Mind fighting the heart for air but even the breathing can't be controlled</div>
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Darkness giving our eyes the brightest part of our day</div>
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Digit Murphyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07564715196040324558noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-189409018341511413.post-56282864068547316082014-11-27T04:44:00.000-08:002015-11-01T07:26:53.991-08:00Food for thought--Giving Thanks and the Church of the Hockey Gods<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<a href="http://www.demeterclarc.com/wp-content/uploads/images/2013/11/PILGRIM-BULLSHIT.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://www.demeterclarc.com/wp-content/uploads/images/2013/11/PILGRIM-BULLSHIT.png" height="252" width="320" /></a></div>
So one of my friends who is new to the hockey world asked me what I was doing at Thanksgiving...his daughter was playing in a local tournament and one of the teams in our program will be at that tourney as well. And I was trying to figure out when the last time that I had a Thanksgiving with no hockey? I mean at Brown we always played the Mayor's Cup the day after. But I actually had practice at 7PM the night of Thanksgiving---so my players wouldn't overindulge! I laugh a little about it now. And the 53 year old in me that now has a little more perspective (I did say <b><i>a little) </i></b>wondered--WHERE ARE WE ALL GOING WITH SPORTS AND HOLIDAYS??? <br />
<a name='more'></a> We treat a day off not as a day of rest, or giving thanks in this case on Thanksgiving, or reflecting on a religious holiday like Christmas...many of us will just make sure that we are packing up the car sometimes on the actual holiday to travel to a sports event.<br />
<br />
What's my point? Well, sports is a choice, it is a great teacher of life skills, it can separate the devoted and dedicated from the not so dedicated-right? But have we lost perspective? I include my self in this discussion. I am guilty of it as well. Have we put the world of sport ahead of religion? Or a coveted national tradition? The world is changing I get it but who is driving this change? I say it is business--rink owners, facilities people, crafty entrepreneurs. I say it is also the institutions that run the sports world like the universities, the NCAA, the NFL, the NBA, the NHL--now people will say you can't have it both ways Didge. You are and were one of those people...<br />
<br />
Here's where I see the difference. Paid professionals or high level college athletes have made choices their whole lives to get to the top. But the path that they took did not necessarily mean that they played 24 hours a day 7 days a week on holidays etc. etc--you get my drift--we do <b><i>NOT</i></b> know that? How did Sidney Crosby or Hilary Knight's parents raise them? They may have played three sports--they may have never missed a thanksgiving with their grandparents...we don't know. What I do know is that we have convinced ourselves that more is better. That if we chase this sport dream that it will give us the pot of gold at the end--an NHL contract, a division 1 scholarship...<br />
<br />
Parents are the other reason because it has become a lot about them. Their social ives, their own lack of athleticism, their own inability to slow it down (CHECK FOR ME)! It is also about the business of youth sport that has created this frenzy. Coaches at u10 that say if we miss this tourney then it we will not be as good and we might not win the championship! Other reasons and justifications for playing: the kids will bond, they love it, they will miss out--the kids want to go it is soooo much fun! I have heard them all,<br />
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Please let this serve as a reminder for us all to look in the mirror and reflect about what is import in life. How do sports fit into our family, our culture, and our country. What does it say about us? There is no wrong or right--just what is!<br />
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Digit Murphyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07564715196040324558noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-189409018341511413.post-20985810965079602952014-08-23T06:22:00.002-07:002014-08-23T06:22:43.221-07:00Another One Bites the Dust<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTVRz5pjPhA-yquZDCGo6pJjLbLFYZkwOLJbD03AQtdFcT5Y4B7jLf2bPR5aPhry-V12RBL2aowZzK7zDOZYwwySGwQRzCFlWVFyTaIwElXlMPyoGDL2M9Z9q6Go-9ISWOeKQ9iB-bSR4/s1600/Digit+Blades+player.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTVRz5pjPhA-yquZDCGo6pJjLbLFYZkwOLJbD03AQtdFcT5Y4B7jLf2bPR5aPhry-V12RBL2aowZzK7zDOZYwwySGwQRzCFlWVFyTaIwElXlMPyoGDL2M9Z9q6Go-9ISWOeKQ9iB-bSR4/s1600/Digit+Blades+player.jpg" height="213" width="320" /></a><br />
<b><i>ANOTHER CASUALTY IN COACHING...</i></b><br />
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Just informed that one of my friends who coaches a male sport was "let go" because the parents didn't want a female to coach their boys--will it ever end??<br />
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Thought I'd post this again:<br />
<a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2012/03/18/sports/in-college-hockey-female-coaches-often-skate-away-from-demands-of-the-job.html?pagewanted=all&_r=0">Number of Women Coaches In College Hockey Dwindling</a><br />
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Let's keep reminding ourselves keep moving the needle forward in all professions it is just not in hockey!! It is in business, politics, and life in general. Sexism is rampant and all we can do about it is keep the dialogue open, honest, and educated!</div>
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Digit Murphyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07564715196040324558noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-189409018341511413.post-41759829001739802892014-08-13T05:17:00.000-07:002014-08-13T05:17:34.224-07:00Move Over DNA Hello Coach!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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Since I am a crazy "grow the game" traveller and can't sit still long enough for a long commentary... I have decided to post articles and quickly comment on them--I love the writing but my band with for writing is short-- 6-7am. During this time I must check emails, get my mind and day going and now write! I wish that I could write all day about the ideas whirling around in my head about how females come to tasks, think, feel about themselves, and of course coaching but alas I have only an hour--so I will try to hyper focus and comment on what I believe some of the many challenges that our female gender inherently has. Now in my 50's although not a scientist or do I have any basis for my theories besides my own experiences, I firmly believe our biggest challenge challenge is to overcome the way we are wired as females...not the people around us limiting us, not the environment just our HARD WIRING DNA--DAMN so hard to overcome!<br />
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Here's a good article:<br />
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<a href="http://www.thehockeynews.com/blog/will-women-ever-get-into-the-nhl-coaching-ranks/">Will Women Ever Get into the Coaching Ranks in the NHL??</a><br />
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You might say "Didge are you crazy?? They might be insinuating that women will never coach in the NHL--I thought you were an advocate...why would you post this??"--well two things...<br />
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1. I love the advocacy in the replies and comments in the end of the article from both MEN and women--there are lots of men out there that thing that women can and should coach.<br />
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2. With harsh challenges ahead of our gender in coaching...as indicated by the banter in the replies section between a woman who thinks women can coach men and a man who thinks that there is absolutely NO room for females in coaching.<br />
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Read the article and replies you will see why I like the article!<br />
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We females should start to examine our behavior. After all it is about us. It is about respect for ourselves. It is about fearlessness and passion when want something. It is quite simply about motivation. Coaching is a hard profession, it is brutal. If we coach men we will be called names, we will be bullied, we will be laughed at--not always in our face but behind our backs, by our own gender, by our children (they don't get it yet ;) Ladies let's keep telling ourselves that we ARE qualified! As soon as we see ourselves as capable and worthy and we are willing to sacrifice, we will coach. But not a second before--we might coach but we won't be successful until we can see ourselves as capable in that role. We even struggle to find our niche in our own sports where society really thinks that men should be the keepers of the coaching kingdom! <br />
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Coaching in the male sports realm is like going into the lion's den or the shark tank...it is not for the faint of heart. We cannot continue to demand our status we must earn it through hard work perseverance, and sacrifice. There are so many women out there who have all of these traits--they did it as college athletes and they are now doing it as mom's, daughters of aging parents, and spouses-we can do it! We just need to WANT to!<br />
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So let's get out there ladies and quit yappin' we are very capable--look at our lives and what we do everyday--we do exactly what coaches do--we motivate, we teach, we drive, we nurture, we cajole, we schedule, we organize, I could go on and on--what holds us back is the fear of the actual sports world--going into the lions den and actually knowing what we know and believing on ourselves and what we know. We have been told for years that we don't know sports or that we don't know enough about sports to coach, or that we are not TOUGH enough--seriously who is really tough these days it ain't anyone in this generation! We believe the others and not ourselves--one of the biggest things to get past is our own female hard wiring. This is what gets in our way! Move over DNA--hello coach!</div>
Digit Murphyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07564715196040324558noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-189409018341511413.post-24236862026473000102014-02-09T04:49:00.001-08:002014-02-09T04:49:05.448-08:00It's Been a Long Time Coming--PROVIDENCE COLLEGE DOES IT RIGHT FOR WOMENS HOCKEY!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Digit Murphy and Long Time PC Asst Bob Bellmore</td></tr>
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<i><b><span style="font-size: large;">It's been a long time coming</span></b></i>....When I first spoke these words at Brown University as the Head Women's Hockey Coach after our victory in the first ever Mayor's Cup in 1995 or was it 1996? whenever...it was a long time ago... and it HAD BEEN a "long time coming"! The first ever Mayor's Cup in Women's Hockey when yes that's right it had been a tradition in men's hockey forever--or so it seemed to a young trailblazer...But that didn't stop our administration at Brown at the time to blast me for providing a negative comment in the then only form of printed media in Providence---THE PROJO (our affectionate name for the Providence Journal). At the time I was in my early years at Brown and most people would tell you that those were the years of my "political incorrectness" but whatever...in my mind I was simply telling the truth! <br />
<br />
Now in my tenure as head coach of the <a href="http://boston.cwhl.ca/view/cwhlbostonblades/official-website">Boston Blades</a> the only US women's Professional Hockey Team, I had the opportunity of playing in a first rate venue for women's hockey! I have seen other venues on college campuses, so WHAT separated this venue...WHAT was the thing that impressed me the most about this amazing facility? Was it the grandiose lobby, the have everything at your fingertips coaches offices, the professional team (better than the Boston Bruins) locker room, the complete with leather seats classroom for the athletes, the shooting facility, the weight room (complete with astroturf for warm ups), the training room with dualing hot tubs, the doctors offices to privately work on athletes, the impeccable visitors locker rooms, the high tech sound system, the jumbo-tron, the luxury boxes...NO what impressed me the most was the TREATMENT of the Women and its supporters...the administration and staff in their actions said that the women TRULY mattered. The facilities people and athletic administrators were polite, attentive, positive, helpful and this is a testament to the administration at Providence. The Athletic Director, Bob Driscoll and his staff have really made an effort to make women's hockey a showcase sport at PC. My hats off to them. I will give credit as well to Nate Lehman and his staff for welcoming the women's game and having a cooperative hockey spirit! It takes everyone in hockey to be supportive of each other if we are all to move forward with our sport and succeed in the future! I am incredibly grateful for that--so as I finished in my email to Coach Bobby D--I never thought I'd say this as the long time Brown coach and Cornell alum....but as a <a href="http://www.providencejournal.com/sports/content/20140206-mark-divver-hockey-trailblazer-digit-murphy-takes-her-cause-to-new-level.ece">true women's advocate </a>I say give credit where credit id due--GO FRIARS!!<br />
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Here is an email that I'd like to share to Bob Deraney--I thank him for believing in our sport and being a true advocate--thanks again!<br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Hey Bobby,</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span><div>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">We had a great time playing our game in your rink yesterday. We are so grateful to you and your staff for letting us be a part of your tremendous celebration. Your staff, your administration, your team, and your alums, were fabulous ambassadors for the game. Providence College is truly committed to providing a "Cadillac" experience for your athletes. You have no idea how this warms my heart as someone who has been in the game for so long and who has fought for equity in women's sports. It really has been a long time coming and we have arrived at PC. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Venues like Providence's and excellent treatment of the women's hockey program and its guests by your professional staff are examples that women are important in our game. I believe that this is the tip of the iceberg! The Blades game was good hockey and you letting us showcase it in your arena says so much about you and your program's commitment to our sport. Your alums were proud and beaming! They are really lucky to have so much support from the Trustees on down to of course you, Meredith, Mel, and Brooksie! So thanks again and good luck in the rest of the season--I never thought I hear my self say this as the long time Brown coach...but GO FRIARS!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Take Care,</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><a href="http://www.providencejournal.com/sports/content/20140206-mark-divver-hockey-trailblazer-digit-murphy-takes-her-cause-to-new-level.ece">Digit</a></span></div>
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Digit Murphyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07564715196040324558noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-189409018341511413.post-1817506873090733202014-01-18T07:51:00.000-08:002014-01-18T07:51:33.954-08:00Practice or Meet and Greet with Olympic Leaders...yeah Practice<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">MEGHAN DUGGAN EVENT</td></tr>
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After the night with Meghan Duggan event I was inspired to write...it has been a while since I have had the time to write and it requires a ton of discipline to write continually--I have a lot of respect for people who consistently write! So if anyone out there has any tricks to staying focused for an ADHD maniac...please feel free to comment on this blog...but alas I digress--<br />
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So Meghan Duggan event--I sat at the podium proud of the 140 folks in the crowd who fought traffic to come out to hear Meg speak--she is the captain of the Olympic Team and was being introduced by former Olympian and Sochi Olympic delegate Caitlin Cahow-- I would've thought there would be more of a demand...<br />
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First off--the speakers or topic "Women in Sports: A Night with Olympian Meghan Duggan" for not having more folks out to the event. It might have been the marketing of the event by yours truly (I am not the greatest at the FB, Twitter, Instagram, Constant Contact, Mail Chimp, Snap Chat...you get my drift too many things to update...however, of the people that <i><b>did</b></i> get my emails, calls and texts, I was pretty dumbfounded for the reasons that folks couldn't come out--and trust me I get it most parents have a ton to do on the weeknight! Most MOMS are out after work taking one of their two or three kids to practice or worrying about their kids homework or studying for a test or driving kids to SAT prep or washing their dog or cat or training for the marathon or baking the cookies for the bake sale or writing a brief for the project due on Friday....so yeah we are busy people. Another reason for not coming was that the cost of the ticket (for a dinner/speech/and meet and greet sign autographs and take pics with one of the top players in the world in the sport they love) $40--was just a little too pricey! The one that really got me was this one--<u><i><b>WE HAVE A HOCKEY PRACTICE! </b></i></u><br />
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This one had to kill me the most and is the reason for my post. The fact that we over schedule athletes for practices and workouts actually burns them out! I did it myself as a college coach--guilty a charged! This is a challenge at all levels of all sports...coaches and program administrators and/or parents depending on the level actually think that one practice or missing a practice makes a difference in the overall performance of their child or athlete. In youth sports it is crazy I can almost justify it in college because of the resources thrown at the game--but I still don't condone it. Honestly at the youth level...when you really think about it it's pretty funny! How many times have parents had their kids go to practice or a game instead of doing homework or better yet skip school? How many times have tournaments been scheduled during a school day? Sports-and trust me I make my living on coaching-is vastly out of control! The business element has taken over sports and put the emphasis and priorities on the game and not the core values that traditionally have defined sports--leadership, sportsmanship, competition, teamwork...<br />
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Digression and rant once again...sorry back to the story...so I kid you not that more than one program told me that they could not come listen to the Captain of the Olympic Women's Hockey Team because they had practice. So herein lies the challenge...we have given the youth sport coaches this pedestal, this pulpit, this position of power where the sport is the vehicle to have their egos, competitive juices, and basically testosterone created rules become the priority. Where is the logic? Where have we gone wrong ladies where we have allowed this to take place? We are the keepers of the kingdom--we have the thing inside us that protects the children, the good, the planet??? The proper thing to do for our daughters (and sons) is to be rational...to be logical..to be sane...and take back the field, the ice, the pool, to a place of sanity. My passion lies in the fact that we are doing our kids a disservice by thinking that it is all about the game. Please if you haven't seen it watch this clip the <a href="https://thecpsu.org.uk/resource-library/2013/my-magic-sports-kit/">magic sports kits...</a><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEioMwd9ElhZQuXonqYKGUl03C7-7l4JwGP4VPGS29c4T1zFJ4Lele-vcGdmG2Ara81S3VUPECgPF3y4RgFhqWD8ACrfiqkErqzvx9lJVOOJQXrkLy7cA0YaRqEf6sdDCE08XLXuBIO6YuA/s1600/duggan+for+flyer.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEioMwd9ElhZQuXonqYKGUl03C7-7l4JwGP4VPGS29c4T1zFJ4Lele-vcGdmG2Ara81S3VUPECgPF3y4RgFhqWD8ACrfiqkErqzvx9lJVOOJQXrkLy7cA0YaRqEf6sdDCE08XLXuBIO6YuA/s1600/duggan+for+flyer.JPG" height="213" width="320" /></a><br />
The Meghan Duggan night was a fabulous opportunity to see leadership, role modeling, and wholesomeness in sport up close and personal. It would have been a great BREAK from the craziness of a practice--coaches should have the wherewithall to call it an off ice practice of leadership, education, sportsmanship, role modeling...what sports behaviors should emulate. The young girls at this event were treated to a great night that emulated these core values! For those programs that had to have that practice I hope that you guys win this weekend...but the opportunity to reach out and shake the hand of the Olympic Team Captain who is off to Sochi might never come again. </div>
Digit Murphyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07564715196040324558noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-189409018341511413.post-58036863733528984052013-10-13T08:07:00.001-07:002013-10-13T08:07:58.004-07:00Crosby's mom joins the Canadian Women's Hockey League board<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="344" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/FwkCt06Hx64" width="459"></iframe>Digit Murphyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07564715196040324558noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-189409018341511413.post-14860521104067151972012-06-04T08:49:00.002-07:002012-06-04T08:49:46.939-07:00THE DISNEY TRAM AND ROD SERLING'S THE TWILIGHT ZONE...???<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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So have you ever
experienced one of those hee bee/gee bee feelings? You know the one where the twilight zone plays in the
background because something really coincidentally weird happened? Something that you just can't explain?</div>
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Well I decided
to take a diversion from sports in this blog and tell you about a crazy thing
that happened to me on a recent trip to FLA for a business meeting. It happened in the Orlando airport on
my way back to Providence. It is a
small but randomly pointed coincidence between myself and a stranger that
inspired me to write....</div>
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As I drove from
Daytona to Orlando, I was about a half hour away for the airport when my trusty
text alert from Southwest Airlines went off...I get these unnamed texts from
time to time usually Unicef or Walmart --how they get my cell I'll never
know--but I almost didn't read it. I glanced down at the buzz to see that my
9:30 pm flight to Providence was now changed to 10:40 pm-- so I kicked my own
butt because I was already thinking "hey JA--serves you right for booking
such a late flight to begin with...what were you thinking?". So obviously
I was in no hurry to get to my gate as I dropped my rental, meandered to the
ticketing counter struck up a conversation with the woman who ticketed me who
ended up hailing from Burrillville, RI (of course she did!), and finally made
my way into the long snakelike line that ends at the X-RAY body scanner. After being tagged as a liquid
contraband smuggler by the X-Ray machine attendant...It turned out that my
yogurt was the liquid in question...I grabbed my laptop stuffed it into my bag
and proceeded to just miss the next tram to the terminal. It must've taken me too long to dress
after the strip search!!</div>
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For whatever
reason the terminal wasn't crowded so very few people were getting </div>
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On the
tram. The next tram that came
dumped off a hoard of people and the few lone LATE night travelers
entered. I headed to the
first car of the tram. I was the
only one to enter. The rest of the embarkers got on the last car, which was the
closest to the security area--I had chosen to burn the calories and walk the
extra 10 yards to the front!!
As I enter the tram all by my lonesome, at the front of tram in the big
window a Swiss Army black laptop case sat solo with no owner in sight. For a split second I can hear in my
head the voice of the airport police saying "never leave your luggage
unattended...". After all aren't we conditioned since 911 to think
everyone is a terrorist? I half
think that the second I picked up the bag it would self detonate like one in an
NCIS Los Angeles episode and I would go out of this life in a ball of
fire! Then the realist in me sees
in my minds' eye a mom and dad anxious to get to Disney with the kids. As the doors fly open one of the kids
darts out and they are so flustered they leave the laptop bag on the front seat
of the tram chasing the kids out the door--I actually think that happened to me
once!!</div>
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So the Good
Samaritan with lots of time on her hands ME-grabs the bag, walks it back to
security and turns it in. I have
to tell you, a part of me expected to get a lecture from TSA to call 911 so the
bomb squad was called in as they proceed to interrogate me under the hot lights
in the Airport Jail like Gaylord Focker in <i>Meet
the Parents</i>. In reality, a
pleasant airport security gentleman thanks me "ma'am" and I am on my
way back to the tram. This time
the opposite side tram comes first...I am a creature of habit and I walk to the
front car again. It is again
empty--just me...I board the tram and imagine I am back 10 years with my kids
again heading into Disney. How
cool is the tram the first time you see it!? </div>
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Anyway the 30
sec tram rides ends and a woman appears in the doorway. I am passing her and just as I am about
to pass her she looks at me and says did you see a bag on the tram? I say, "Yes, a black Swiss Army
bag! As a matter of fact I found
it and returned it to TSA--it is at the desk." Relieved, she thanks me and hurries onto the tram as the
doors close. At that point a wave
of emotion wells up in me at the magnitude of what just happened. It was a twighlight zone moment! Rod Serling was about to come out of
the broom closet and launch into a sermon on the odds of this happening and why
two strangers happened to bump into each other on the Disney Tram...at that
exact time it also happened in an alternate alien universe! And the music
plays---doo doo doo do...</div>
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Here is why I
think this happenstance is so crazy:
number one if I hadn't been ID'd as a yogurt smuggler I would've taken a
different tram. Number two-the
tram I came off was not the one the bag was left on. It was on the opposite
side. The woman didn't even
remember the right tram she took.
Number three I got into the front car again. What were the odds of that happening? I guess pretty good being the creature
of habit that I am--but COME ON!
And number four something made the lady ask me even though I had already
walked past her.</div>
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These
experiences happen a lot to me.
And I <b><i>NOTICE</i></b> that they happen.
I am sure that these types of things happen to lots of people. Sometimes they may happen in numerous
occurrences but go unnoticed...I believe that energy, sensitivity, and the
power of people is special and that we haven't even tapped the potential that
we have as a society to understand each other on levels that we have not yet
begun to imagine.</div>
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It makes me
hopeful that our connections as human beings will continue to grow in a
positive way to make the world a better place.</div>
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</div>Digit Murphyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07564715196040324558noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-189409018341511413.post-89834043077954671532012-05-10T11:54:00.000-07:002012-05-11T08:31:29.744-07:00Junior Seau's Tragedy--How Ice Hockey Can Learn From This<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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Junior Seau's tragedy put an exclamation point on what I was already thinking as I reflected upon the presentation at the recent American Hockey Coaches Convention. I am speaking about the buzz word in sport right now--CONCUSSIONS.<br />
<br />
The Concussion Presentation by Chris Nowinski
of the Sports Legacy Institute was informative, interesting, and from a personal perspective it really hit home
for me. My daughter was
diagnosed this year with post concussion syndrome. She is a junior on the Nobles Girls Hockey team; after being
diagnosed she could not return to school and had to take a year off to rest her brain and recover
from her injury.<br />
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So I got to thinking about kids and
parents, playing sports, and how can we display the attributes of hockey in a
positive light to our future participants. </div>
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Concussions, head injury, brain damage
are in the forefront of the news. Everyone is commenting on this phenomena. Sports like hockey and football have a bad rep. So why would a parent choose to have their
child play a sport that could potentially give them brain damage?</div>
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Chris Nowinski in his presentation spoke of how we can try to reduce the incidences of concussions. One of the ideas tossed around is reducing the
amount of equipment athletes wear. The idea is that we would be protected less causing us
to take less risks in hockey and this would ultimately lead to better protection for our heads. It will be an interesting discussion on
our campuses with our administrations. Reducing equipment to help prevent injury (in the way of going from full masks to half shields) has not been passed but has been presented by the sport of hockey several times. The role that the NCAA
plays in the facilitation of this discussion will certainly be part of a targeted solution.<br />
<br />
As coaches, it is our job to provide
support for our athletes and look for ways to be part of the solution to make hockey a more
health conscious and less dangerous game. This can help hockey become a better sport for all to embrace and enjoy.<br />
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Personally, my solution involves
thinking out side of the box. When
the older generation of hockey coaches (primarily men) speak about the women's game,
they talk about it being a more pure form of the sport. They talk about it being a different
game without the full ice hitting; it requires angling as a defensive tactic,
not checking. It is "how we used to play the game".<br />
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So why don't men play hockey the same way women do?? This type of mindset may be the next
logical thought process as an approach to grow an develop our game. It is my
hope that all hockey lovers open their minds if they want our great game to
succeed. We could all play the
game the same way. It would not be
mens or women's hockey; it would just be hockey---same rules, no
differences. No checking in hockey
is an improvement to our rules to enable our sport to grow. Right now, we are classified as a
collision sport like football.
This limits our growth and development. Parents will continue to be hesitant to have their kids play
a sport that is in the news and perceived as dangerous. Today's parents of athletes are more
educated. They are aware due to constant media exposure of concussions and brain injury. If we care about our future players and the continued growth
of hockey we will not only consider but implement these kinds of rules changes
to our game.<br />
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If we do not make educated choices to
implement positive change, the next Sydney Crosby may be a soccer player, or a
basketball player--not a hockey player And we'll never
know it!<br />
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</div>Digit Murphyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07564715196040324558noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-189409018341511413.post-42717934582674906072012-04-09T04:23:00.000-07:002012-04-09T04:23:52.282-07:00Cooperative Play and Donald Trump's Celebrity Apprentice<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">I have been thinking about writing this ever since I saw the first few episodes of The Apprentice--of course Donald Trump and his comb-over aside, The Apprentice highlighted several tendencies that I have noticed about my gender that makes me sometimes embarrassed to be female--let me explain...<br />
<br />
For anyone who has not seen the show, at the start of each season, the teams are split up by gender--men vs. women. Each episode starts with a task assigned to the team by The Don. The team picks a Project Manager who is in charge of executing the task. As I watched the first few episodes, I noticed that when the men came to play, they picked the project manager and found a way to follow him--even if they weren't quite sure of the outcome. They would try to believe in the leadership and ultimately defer to the Project Manager on the task. Sometimes, they would have their doubts about his methods or be a little annoyed with a weak player on their team, but they appeared to try to see the good of the team and overcome obstacles to achieve the goal. On occasion, the men's team confronted a negative team member or the occasional lazy individual in the task, which created outward conflict but all in all they pitched in and helped for the good of the task they were to accomplish. The men won 5 of 7 tasks put forth to them.<br />
<br />
The women on the other hand picked their leader after sometimes colorful discussion or not and began the task. As they brainstormed on the task with the Project Manager and tried to share ideas, at any hint of controversy the claws came out! No cooperative behavior, they talked behind each other's back, formed cliques, and undermined each other. This made for great reality TV! These behaviors seemed like the sport not the task to be completed. The women were caddy, and jealous of each other, and they were hard pressed to acknowledge good ideas of others in the group. I wonder why this is...Does it have something to do with each individual woman's inner self? Are they insecure or have self esteem issues...or is it nature are women wired this way? I am not sure. The show was hard for me to watch at times as the women's actions were childish, insincere, and mean...<br />
<br />
After the task is completed, the next part of the show involves the two teams coming into DT's Board Room and finding out the results of the task. Much of the board room involves Donald Trump firing the teams up by pitting the players against each other. If a team wins, they are awarded an amount of money to donate to the charity of the winner's choice. The penalty for the losing team is to have one member of the team FIRED after Donald Trump instigates the drama for the teams in the boardroom.<br />
<br />
In the board room, the men's team defended their leader at all costs, they would say how great he was and even lie and say he did a great job (even if they all knew he didn't). They would only throw the leader under the bus if they were really pressured. And even then, it was really hard for the men to be disloyal...it seemed to physically pain them! The team cohesion and positive attitude appeared to have an impact on the eventual victorious outcome for the men.<br />
<br />
The women were very different. They were individuals in the board room and appeared to have no solidarity. And it isn't made easy for them by The Don! Donald Trump is an excellent observer of the body language of the players. When someone doesn't agree with what is said, and they wince or roll their eyes, he picks up on the body language and he calls them on it. When pressed, the women immediately folded and threw each other under the bus viciously, I might add...there is no mercy. They call each other names and look like children on a playground fighting over who gets to win a prize. It is interesting that when they are going to say something negative about each other they explain why first...as if they are justifying their behavior--fascinating. I wonder if their task was life of death how they'd play? Would they cooperate more and give credit where credit is due?<br />
<br />
Now I know it is only a game and is made for TV drama but you have to at least acknowledge the differences in genders...I was talking with a friend about this phenomena and he asked me if I thought that the women's behaviors were actually being exaggerated to make the men look like they were better for more controversial TV viewing instigated by Trump the male chauvenist? Wow, if that were the case I'd be shocked...I think that <b><i>even</i></b> if this <b><i>were</i></b> true, the women most likely give the show way more material than the men did--the drama, the crying, the two faced and hurtful behavior...these are the issues that the women have on the show. I am not saying that all women act this way or that this isn't all made for TV reality, it makes you think though if these exaggerated traits are a tiny bit true and what they say about us as females.<br />
<br />
So what does this mean for sports, and how do we tie this in? I say that this is definitely a phenomena that is coming to fruition in the women's athletic world. As I speak to coaches, both men and women the behavior of women can at times be non team like and disloyal. Coaches have told me stories of putting themselves out there for their female athletes. Supporting and mentoring the athletes, helping them get better, coming to their rescue to an academic crisis...and at the drop of a hat when the chips are down and a player is struggling on the team and may be relegated from starting position to a non starter because of poor performance, the player throws the coach under the bus. Many women on teams make excuses for losing and then players lack the ability to take responsibility. It is the coach's fault or a team mate who did not pass to them. Or the players lifted weights or trained too hard two days before and their legs were tired...the women athletes sometimes lack accountability.<br />
<br />
Athletic directors have shared their thoughts with me about surveys that are instituted by the NCAA. They are mandatory and each athletic department uses the information differently. Why is it that women feel the need in the surveys to treat their female coaches differently? The women are harder on the women coaches, they throw them under the bus even in winning seasons? Why is it that we cannot compliment good performance when it is woman to woman? I'm not sure, but if I were to guess it is just how we are wired...The women on the Apprentice exhibit these behaviors too!<br />
<br />
My final thought is that if we are to change as a gender, sport is a natural teaching tool that can change behaviors. Coaches need to be willing to have conversations about why women have different attitudes and perspectives than men. Acknowledge that women are different than men and discuss it in the realm of how the behavior impacts women's sports and teams. Until we have coaches who are willing to discuss the behavior, and take it on as a challenge it will not change. If you are a coach reading this article are you willing to have the conversation and be part of the solution? <br />
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<i>This is a series of commentary and solutions for women coaches...the next article will provide a suggested remedy to help guide similar behaviors exhibited by female athletes</i><br />
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</div>Digit Murphyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07564715196040324558noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-189409018341511413.post-66191983500492602232012-02-17T03:46:00.000-08:002019-12-06T04:05:41.754-08:00Title IX anniversary 2012<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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On the anniversary of Title IX I would like to sincerely thank Edith Green the mastermind behind Title IX, and Senator Patsy Mink for co-authoring the statue that forever has changed my life. Growing up in the 60's and 70's as a young female athlete was challenging. But initially not as challenging as one might think. My introduction to sports was on the playground and in the street. I was a kid--just a kid not a boy not a girl. The world of children and the playground was forgiving and unrelenting all at the same time. It was a time when you just played. If kids were mean to each other, the group level set. If kids were accepting the group on that particular day handled it. No adult involvement was needed. </div>
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Ignorance was bliss back then and you really never thought of equity. Boys played sports and girls wore pretty pink dresses--especially for school. I remember going to school for the first time and my mom told me that I was required to wear a dress?! I was horrified! My mother, grandmother, and aunts would wrangle me into a dress for church, and on holidays. But everyday??? I had to wear a dress to school? I was miserable an incredibly fearful. My stomach cramped up at the thought--I physically reacted to this--crazy eh? I am actually surprised that I didn't hate school! But I didn't, and I sucked it up--like we all did back then. This left it's mark on me--I had to think of being different and be forced to conform to something I did not believe in because of my gender. I always wondered--WHY?</div>
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In school, boys and girls played on the segregated playgrounds actually separated by a fence--boys on one side girls on the other. Girls played hop scotch and jacks and maybe the occasional tag while the boys played basketball, touch football, and baseball. I remember peering through the chain link fence staring forlornly into the boys side wishing I could play with them.</div>
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After school we would all boys and girls (mostly the boys and I) run down to the ball field after school to choose sides and play pick up. There I was in my glory. Just a player...not a girl or a boy...just a player. I quickly rose to the ranks in the sand lot as I was promoted from the outfield to the infield then to the coveted position of on the field leader--the short stop. At bat, from middle of the line up to first to clean up hitter...a leader on the field at age 10.</div>
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I quickly found out however what it meant to be a girl. In early 70's in the world of adults and sport structure there were rules. My resume of being captain of the sand lot, picking the teams, and motivating my squad in our make believe world meant nothing to the adults. When I arrived to try out I was told that I didn't fit the criteria...I was not male. I wondered WHY?</div>
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My world was rocked. I could not wear the uniform that I dreamed about wearing. Why?? I did not understand...I was not as brash as I am today so there was no "well I am going to do it anyway...I'll storm the administration...we can demand equity"...the adults ruled in my world and I was told no...end of story. I was angry and hurt. I would never be a part of the fabulous world of little league that the boys enjoyed...the parents cheered for them, the scoreboard tended to, snackbar available...all in their honor--what a glorious happy time for them. I was on the sidelines cheering on my friends or taking stats. Even the boy who was picked last, who couldn't run the bases, he had a spot on the bench--my sandlot leadership meant nothing--I was a girl. I could hit it out of the park, play shortstop, and bark out orders to the boys, yet in the adult world of the rules of baseball I did not matter. My gender mattered more than my performance. This shocking, painful, reality made me who I am today...</div>
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Today, I am the USA Hockey Lead Mentor Coach and am also a scout for Team USA National Women's Hockey Program. I recently retired from Brown University as their head ice hockey coach after 23 years and I now own a consulting company advising student athletes on their college choices.</div>
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Digit Murphyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07564715196040324558noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-189409018341511413.post-29245513610887152412012-01-10T06:24:00.000-08:002019-12-06T04:11:44.500-08:00Republican Primary--Building a Team Culture Part 1 THE COACH<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="text-align: left;">Watching the republican primaries and watching grown men spew moronic rhetoric in NH really tells me something about our country--where are we going when these candidates are the best that the Republican party can come up with? To watch Rick Santorum's views on birth control and his outrageous statements that birth control encourages sex which he "just doesn't think is right" it is simply a slap in the face to our intellect...or to watch Mitt Romney as the front runner stick his foot in his mouth time after time makes me self reflect and think about my own personal core value set...what are the most important things in life to me?</span></div>
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Words to live your life by are perfect for <i><b>defining your team culture</b></i>--sense of self, sense of purpose commitment to a common goal, commitment to work, commitment to doing the right thing, to have character, integrity, worth, honesty, drive, grit, intensity--are all words I try to live my life by. As an old coach or new coach everything that you bring to the table must reflect who you are. Your team will become the things that you demand of them when you demand them of yourself. <br />
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Many coaches try to read a drill book and coach. Others try to say one thing and do another. I believe that coaching is pretty simple. We make it more complicated than it needs to be. Coaching ice hockey to me is:<br />
<br />
<ol>
<li>Thinking about your core value set and putting it on paper. </li>
<li>Taking the game of hockey and how you want to play it, and putting it on paper. </li>
<li>Instructing and executing your strategy with both an identifiable value set as well as a game plan. </li>
</ol>
This will help make you successful as a coach. <br />
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This is how you begin to BUILD A TEAM CULTURE.<br />
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How you define success and how the powers that be define success is the tricky part...the powers that be may be administration, your youth organization, your NGB, your parents and players. First ask yourself who am I accountable to. The first people that you communicate your philosophy statement to or your core value set to is your own powers that be. If they don't buy it or they don't give you the tools to execute, you are in for a long year! But if they do believe in what you are teaching as a coach, you are off to a great start.<br />
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Next define it to yourself, your staff, and your team...in that order. Get your staff on board and make sure that they articulate the goals and objectives that you are trumpeting. Again, if they are not on board trouble is on the horizon!! It's pretty funny but finally get your team on board--and they are not really last they are the third piece of the puzzle. If you don't communicate and manage your powers that be and staff then it is really hard to execute a clear message to your players. Everyone MUST be on board. If not you need to get them on board or get them off the train. And do NOT make the mistake of keeping naysayers around. It is only a matter of time until they wear on your philosophy and take your energy in a different direction than the team's.<br />
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When teaching your philosophy, the old adage keep it simple stupid is pretty accurate. The more simple your systems especially in hockey the better. Your team should be able to tell you exactly what your team's philosophy is as well as what your hockey systems are. To test yourself, casually ask random players from time to time. And don't be afraid if they don't know what you think they should know. It simply tells you that you need as a coach to work on better communication. Coaches rarely get feedback. Mainly because our job as a coach involves so many factors that unless you are evaluated by a coach who understands your philosophy (and agrees with it), it is difficult to assess. It is also difficult because most coaches by nature want to improve and think that they are doing the right thing, or they don't have time so they rarely ask for help!<br />
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When articulating the game plan, break your season down in manageable pieces. For example by semester--define your goals and communicate them. Don't be afraid to lose early to prove a point (unless again the powers that be do not understand your goals) Tell them in writing if you must to help them understand. <br />
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Communicate your message to your players as a group in the big picture at least once a week or more often. Sometimes as coaches we lose track of the big picture because we get bogged down with the minutiae. Stick to your guns if you believe in your philosophy. You will gain more respect, but if you meet resistance--communicate, communicate, comunicate. If you are hesitant to communicate self diagnose the problem...ask yourself--why am I not comfortable with mu message. Only change it as a last resort if you believe in it!<br />
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Team culture starts at the top. It is a combination of believing in your philosophy as a coach and having players believe and embrace it. Players need to believe in each other as well--that's for the next BLOG: Building a Team Culture Part 2 THE PLAYERS.<br />
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Now back to the Primary--today is the day we'll see more of the sound bites and blunders of what I can only describe as the coaches of floundering a ship--The Republican party. I question the core value sets that they bring to the table, and hope for a more selfless and caring core value set for future politicians. One that focuses on bringing community together with character, integrity, and honor.<br />
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Digit Murphyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07564715196040324558noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-189409018341511413.post-66650448211270050192011-12-03T03:13:00.000-08:002011-12-03T03:13:40.870-08:00Coaching Advice--How to Professionally Develop<style>
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0.1pt 0in;"><span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 16pt;">Young Coaches—How to Professionally Develop</span><span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 10pt;"></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0.1pt 0in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0.1pt 0in;"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">As I have navigated through “retirement” (in quotes because it is just from coaching not from working ;) and I have been contacted by lots of people that are interested in my help. Many of the questions have come from coaches so I have decided to write about the questions that I am asked and share my responses to the questions in my blog!!</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0.1pt 0in;"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">One of the recent questions that I was asked concerned getting a new job and looking for a program that offered a graduate degree as well. The coach asks: </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0.1pt 0in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0.1pt 0in;"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">How do I get a job in a program that offers a graduate degree? And how do I position myself to get hired?</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0.1pt 0in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0.1pt 0in;"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Well first, this person was smart enough to have a list of schools she had researched up front so she had an idea of which schools had graduate degree programs that she was interested in—great start!</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0.1pt 0in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0.1pt 0in;"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Next I helped her match the schools that I know have grad programs and then she could look up the coaches on the internet. Looking over her list of schools, she should start networking with coaches who have the programs she is interested in. Seems simple but many people are skittish about asking for help or guidance—big mistake! Coaches are flattered that you would reach out to them. They will always make the time to help people—well most coaches will! Those are the ones you want to work for anyway!! </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0.1pt 0in;"><span style="font-size: 14pt;"><br />
Now that you have your short list, look at the schools and make sure that you go out and meet those coaches if you can. If you cannot meet in person ask to have a call with them. But in person is best! Schedule any meetings or calls in advance so they can talk on their schedule and at a good time. For example, you do not want to catch a coach in a video session or planning practice! Bad timing can put you behind the eight ball right out of the gate! Next, look at their schedules and see when you might catch one of their games. All coaches like to talk about the games. Remember a play that was awesome and mention it to them. Controversial plays are another conversation starter. These are good because you can share opinions on a common dialogue. This is an important context to converse in because it shows you both how you share or differ in mindset and opinion. It could be a window into how you might work together in the future! </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0.1pt 0in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0.1pt 0in;"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Even if the school does not have a grad program, go to <i>any </i>college campus when you are in that area and see if the coach has time to meet with you. Same applies as above. If you go to watch a game first you will have more to talk about! Again, coaches like to impart wisdom and mentor. It is what they do everyday. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0.1pt 0in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0.1pt 0in;"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Take one day every other week and devote it to a personal professional development (PPD) day. Take a drive to a local campus and talk to people on the campus. Get a feel for the place and try to schedule at least one meeting before you go—but plan on these PPD days throughout the year. These days are about meeting people and networking not particularly focusing on a job. The more people you connect with the more they will think of you when a job becomes available. Make them proud to recommend you or hire you! Make an impact on them when you meet them. Smile ask about them and what they do and when they ask talk about what you do and why you are there. Be honest, and above all dress well! Dressing well is a sign of self respect. People notice!</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0.1pt 0in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0.1pt 0in;"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">It is always said that comfort level with people is why you get hired. As a final word to WOMEN—I have to put my Digit Murphy spin on this--one of the reasons women don’t get hired is because we are not good networkers. We are nesters! So get out of the nest and network twice a month! It will be good for you to gain new perspective and meet others that you can connect with and discover!</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0.1pt 0in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0.1pt 0in;"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">That's all for now—</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0.1pt 0in;"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">To quote one of my favorite You Tube People Glozell—PEACE AND BLESSINGS!</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0.1pt 0in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Didge</span></div>Digit Murphyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07564715196040324558noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-189409018341511413.post-50993013347220711912011-10-07T06:42:00.000-07:002019-12-06T04:04:14.749-08:00Herbies RIP??? October 7, 2011<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">Someone asked me the other day...how's the Brown team gonna do this season? Do you miss it? What's it like not coaching? On the first day of the Ivy League practice season, I thought that I'd answer these questions...</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"><br />
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</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">Q. The first question...how 's the Brown Team going to do this season?? </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">A. Well I am biased about the Brown Team! I love the new class that we brought in, and I think that it was the best we've brought in in several years. The energy that players like Janice Yang, Sarah Robson, Britt Moorehead coupled with the scoring punch of Kaitlyn Keon will be formidable and potent. I predict that this class by the end of the season will have at least three times the points the whole team had last year! The grit of Lauren Vella and Shannon Flatley brings back the old school days of defenders like Cassie Turner and Cara Gardner Morey, and these defenders round off a great first year class. Our strategy over the past few seasons was to go with youth. The goaltending should be fantastic, and the rest of our young defenders (sophomores) should mesh well with Flately and Vella. The sophomore forwards should hold steady. Jolin will be solid and her up front on ice leadership will be key. We took our lumps the last two years--apparently pretty big ones considering the staff is gone ;), but we were building for the future. Our choice of playing youth instead of elder players was an investment that should pay dividends and will make this a breakout year for Brown Womens Hockey. So I'll answer my question with a question--How will the Brown team do this year?? My answer--how can they NOT be good!</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"><br />
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</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">Q.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">Do I miss it? </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">A. Well, when you do something in your life for 20+ years, and you have built all of your patterns around a season, and a year...when you have your energy on overdrive each day with competitive juices flowing and you are constantly in recruiting mode, you are thinking about how to manage 25+ players and staff, it is hard to slow down the biorhythms! Have I slowed down? Not really, but it has been great to recharge, to see a different perspective, to look to the future, and focus on figuring out the next step. I will do something really meaningful. What is that you might ask--I have several directions I am considering, but for now I am focusing on my family life and reconnecting with a sanity that I have not had in a while.</span><br />
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</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">Q. Speaking of sanity <i>or insanity ;)</i> my final question--do I miss coaching? </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">A. I'll let you know... but I really won't know until the season starts. The people in the game have changed...society and the way parents parent their children has changed. Respect is getting more and more rare in the world and sport is a microcosm of society. Respect for coaches is non-existent. Or should I say respect for female coaches is non-existent! I don't miss that. Other things I don't miss--the negative recruiting, the dogged schedule of recruiting events that all programs need to be a part of, the parents who will do or say anything to get a scholarship or to get into an Ivy. The lack of loyalty. The lack of parents having perspective when it comes to sport. You hear stories about parents boasting about how their kids have no time for homework because they have so many sporting events they take their children to. How is this parenting? How have we let sport rule us? When did sport become more important than school?? Hockey tourneys start on Friday and u12's travel to Chicago to play a weekend tourney often missing school. These type parents have failed children in sport and coaches are left to deal with children who have been parented like this. Let me rephrase that... coaches who care about teaching character and teaching life lessons through sport pay for it because athletes and parents get away with treating coaches with disrespect in youth sport and now this behavior has creeped into college athletics. Since when did the athlete become the paying customer in college athletics? Since when did the pupil become the evaluator of the teacher? Any coach reading this knows what I mean...</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"><br />
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</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">So on this first day of practice in the Ivy League Womens Hockey, I wish all the Ivy teams good luck...</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"><br />
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</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">I wish the Brown team good riddance to Herbies. </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"><br />
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">And I wish and hope the Princeton women will enjoy a good ol' Brown first day of practice!</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"><br />
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Digit Murphyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07564715196040324558noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-189409018341511413.post-10276951075153011852011-09-15T14:49:00.000-07:002011-09-15T14:49:55.924-07:00The Library Playground?? Women are Just worn out....<style>
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</style> <div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 13.5pt;">I often wonder about our future as a civilization and if it is right or wrong for me to be such a tight ass...as I become older I find myself wondering about the future of society as I am sure my parents and grandparents did. I wonder how my own children's future will be impacted by the behaviors that we are cultivating today...</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 13.5pt;">So the other day I go to the Public Library in search of a quiet place with free Internet. Unbeknownst to my watch and me it was about 2:50 in the afternoon when I arrived. I had put my headset on like I usually do listening to Pandora--again free radio--are you sensing a theme?? Why pay when you can get it for free? I was jamming to classic rock and I was sending emails like you never read about---Anyway...(digression) all of a sudden I look up and there are about 5 moms and 15 kids descending into my space like a group of cuddly teddy bears. They were energized and playful probably because they had just been released from the prison walls of the local school. These kids clearly had the energy to run--not learn! Hey mom, what the heck are you taking me to the library for?? I learned all day???? READING? REALLY??</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 13.5pt;">I took off my headset to experience the sight and sounds of the LIBRARY. The noise level was as loud as a playground!! And the sights included kids chasing each other, running around crawling all over the floor under the tables, and the moms were either helping a sibling or finding a book and they were unable to control the pack that they had brought into the library. It was playtime!! SO I put my head set back on to ignore the chaos--after all as the mother of six I can tune out pretty well especially with a headset on. I was fine and went back to sending emails until I had the eerie feeling that someone was watching me and I jumped out of my seat and almost peed my pants (I'm not wearing Depends yet!) when I turn my head I am peering into the eyes of a little girl about an inch away from my right shoulder!! She was fascinated by what I was typing on the computer screen--I mean she was literally an inch away from my face when I turned--totally oblivious was her mother who clearly had her hands full as she read to her twin boys. About two minutes later, I look up and I have another child in front of me playing table hockey sliding his library card like a puck into a goal?!! I mean have these kids ever heard of personal space??</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 13.5pt;">So I ask myself--is this type of behavior warranted by a librarian? Back in the day our librarians were the mean old ladies who always yelled at us--if we had exhibited the behavior of this junior wolf pack we would have been tossed out on our ears but worse yet the mothers of our day (and myself in this day) would've had us yanked by the arms and put us on timeout and our ears would be ringing after a good old fashioned scolding! The library was a QUIET ZONE to our generation not a McDonald's playground!</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 13.5pt;">But I have to know--is this behavior acceptable? I mean it must be?? Does anyone else but me think that this is not OK--what are we teaching our kids? You can do anything that you want behave any way anywhere---there doesn't seem to be boundaries like there used to be. Is this a good thing or bad thing? From my perspective I think that manners and sense of propriety are dying traits so I am a little pissed at the behavior. On the other hand at least the kids and moms are in the library right??? and not at the local Chucky Cheese's killing time.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 13.5pt;">I </span><span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 13.5pt;"></span><span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 13.5pt;">tip toe up to the library lady--that's how you are supposed to act in the library, quiet right? And I whisper, "I am just wondering is this is an after school program or something the library's got going on here? "I was trying to be nice and not confrontational... She practically yells back to me or at least it seems like yelling to me because it is clearly not a "library voice"and says with a big smile on her face: "well a lot of kids come over after school so it gets a little loud in here"! She is perfectly OK with it!! Then she does something that many people do...she says perfectly nicey nice "you know, you could move <u>your</u> seat over to the other side of the library if you want...at that point I really wanted to rip her a new one and here's why: I feel that when you add up all of these small seemingly meaningless acts of flexing around our children's needs, there are no real boundaries or structure or sense of right and wrong that is apparent to our kids. The message that we send to children is that everything is negotiable and it is my belief we adults have cultivated this behavior which ultimately contributes to the degradation of respect for adults in today's society. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 13.5pt;">Basically as the adults in charge in this case the librarian and the parents allow this "non library" behavior continue to exist instead of doing their job which is to be the "library Nazi" and keep order and QUIET in the library...we perpetuate the erosion of respect for ADULTKIND by asking the adult in this case ME to move!! REALLY!! So I go back to my seat and continue to have paper air planes sail by my head and play peek a boo with the next kid who peers over my shoulder. After a while when I can't take it anymore I move my seat and turn up my headset. This is why I ask the original question--is it wrong to be a tight ass? I wonder is it me? Am I the only one who has these boxes of logic in the world where things are supposed to fit into???</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 13.5pt;">This problem of kids ruling the roost is a relatively recent phenomena...my theory is that as us women do more and more we are simply worn out... we are the providers of the family in many cases and when you heap on the bill paying for the household, the scheduling of the kids school and sports regimen (which I might add is another full time job)--don't get me going on that one you know how I feel about the craziness of sports and how it has gotten out of control!! I mean we have a huge problem with the participation generation going on right now--the everyone gets a trophy generation--do you know this generation??? So I digress...again...so where was I??? Oh yeah, women doing it all--So heaped on to of all of the financial obligation, we are also the moral soldiers our society and we do all of this while our husbands are sitting on the couch "clicking" with life happening all around them. Another topic that I need to expand on at another time!! Managing the children too becomes impossible because you are exhausted, cranky, and now older (used to be the teenage bride was a regular occurrence--now many of us are in our mid to late thirties having our first child!!) Then heaped on top of that from an emotional standpoint, it is really difficult to be the bad guy all of the time--no Johnny you can't yell that loudly in the library we have to be quiet...no Johnny you can't run in church...no Johnny you can't eat that nail...no Johnny you can't pull your sister's hair...no Johnny...no Johnny---AAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH Calgon take me away!!! So we give in and say nothing when our kids are running rough shot in the library!! It is a matter of energy (and probably sleep deprivation)!! Never mind that the last person that we take care of is ourself...ladies we are our own worst enemies!!</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 13.5pt;">BUT I feel strongly that it is our responsibility to set limits on our kids. The kids want the limits and need the limits. Limits and boundaries make them more secure, it allows children to have expectations, set guidelines, and create a set of behaviors in certain physical spaces. Hopefully respect and manners will be promoted as well and ultimately will help society succeed! So all of this discussion, because a bunch of kids are out of control in the library??!! My brain works in a strange way...</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 13.5pt;">SO I ask the question again--is it right or wrong to worry about our future? and is the library scenario just one example why we should?? I don't know about you, but I will continue to wonder and pine for a more orderly disciplined future--the cynic in me says-- Good luck---that's probably not going to be the case! Make the most of it and enjoy the noise!!</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
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</div>Digit Murphyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07564715196040324558noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-189409018341511413.post-92135844556775213152011-09-06T10:03:00.000-07:002019-12-04T11:58:51.686-08:00Men Coaching Field Hockey??<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-size: small;">Harvard Women's Field Hockey Coach</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">Tjerk van Herwaarden 2019 Coach of the Year</span></div>
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So I was in the Edge Coffee Shop the other morning...BTW the best coffee in Wayland Square...and for some crazy reason I picked up the paper during my numerous conversations with the customers, the workers, anyone who will converse with me...occasionally I scan the sports scores..there are also college "transactions" ie. who was hired or fired. So here is what I see- Field Hockey XYZ University (actually truth be told it was Syracuse University) names Steve something or other Field Hockey Assistant Coach...so I am like really--STEVE??? I mean when was the last time that you saw a man in a field hockey kilt sprinting across the turf?? So apparently I have too much time on my hands so I go to the website and look up his bio--it doesn't mentioned he even played...can you imagine a women who wants to be a football coach trying to make it in a game that she never played!!?? It is comical the double standards that are presented to women in coaching on a regular basis!<br />
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Here's another example...I headed up to a girls hockey tournament this weekend to watch some high school prospects play. I am now in the player advocacy role--my new business helps families assess their athletic talent and help them to find the right fit for their high school student's college endeavors--but I digress--ANYWAY. I am across the rink in the stands kind of taking it all in...watching the nervous parents biting their nails--hoping their daughter Suzy doesn't mess up in front of the big almighty college coaches who are studiously taking notes in the coaches corner. I mean if Suzy scores a big goal and the big time college coach is there to see her score a buzzer beating, game ending, powerplay GGGOOOOAAALLL!! celebrating with her Cammie Granato-like arms in the air celebration!--the story book will be complete and the athlete Suzy will have her college choice and she will be the talk of the rink for about 15 minutes. Her Dad or Mom (but usually her dad) proud as a peacock strutting around the rink beaming with pride! So I am thinking about this, and then it dawns on me as I look into the coaches lair that 90% of the whole row of coaches who were standing in the corner were men! Wow, how far have we come in our sport really depends on who's perspective you are considering. We've come a long way baby--but only in certain areas...</div>
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It is not that I don't believe in men coaching women (actually I don't...but that's besides the point...) it's that why do men have to bleed their influences into one of the last sacred cows of women's sports--FIELD HOCKEY? I know what you're gonna say--you're going to say well its Title IX and men deserve the opportunities too! Hey equal rights--you gals wanted it! That's what you get when you want these rights--you can't have it both ways...well I could not disagree more. As women's sports have become more and more lucrative due to the influence of Title IX you will see a plethora of men flocking to make a living in women's sports--whether they played the sport at a high level or not. I point to women's basketball where this fascinating phenomena is also happening. Women's basketball's greatest female heroine (mine as well) is Pat Summit. She is a trail blazer who is a legend. She is along with Vivian Stringer, are women of a critical coaching generation in women's basketball. How many new Pat Summits and Vivian Stringers are there? If Title IX was really working in coaching and coaching hires, you would have at least 50 new Pat Summits in the ranks. Women with at least 15-20 years experience up and coming. I am not sure that they do... What is even more fascinating is the men are slowly rising in the ranks of head coaching as well as assistant coaching in basketball. SO the reverse is true--Title IX actually has helped men be more successful in women's athletics. Ice Hockey and water polo are two other huge examples of the way men have cashed in on their "expertise" in these sports.<br />
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And what bugs me the most is that we as women not only welcome the guy coaches in our game we HIRE them?!! Ladies wake up!! I know that it sounds like I am trying to call you all to arms and start a gender war but I am not--I do actually enjoy the company of men! As a whole, they are more fun to drink beer with tell stories with and fight with because the next day they really don't remember anything that they did and then we start all over with a clean slate the next day! They don't hold grudges and they actually don't mind paying the bill or even paying a little more than their share when paying a bill....ANOTHER DIGRESSION...But my point is that women need to know that men love sports and that they think it is a badge of honor to be coaching sports--any sports---male, female, juvenile, pee wee hockey or soccer, senior citizen bocce, bowling, beer league hockey, it is how they are wired!! They will coach anything! But when men apply for jobs as an assistant field hockey coach-- it should not surprise us women...we should be ALARMED!<br />
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And let me tell you, most of us would blame the woman who hired the male Field Hockey coach. My take on it is that woman who hired him is only hiring him because she thinks that she has to!! The typical woman head coach has been conditioned to think that this new MAN that she has hired is the BEST candidate--she has been conditioned and told that this man is going to help her with her goal of winning. Because she feels pressure to win. AD's fans, parents, students, and media--DEMAND that she wins. Which in the grand scheme of things is insane in and of itself??!! Here's why it is insane...<br />
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Sports were originally intended as a form of teaching--remember physical education. Where is the educational component of sport today? I'll tell you where it is...in the University coiffures...it is a question of how can we cash in on sports to stay a float in an ever competitive economy? Sports is big business and the core value set that revolves around sports has gone into the toilet. There is no honesty, integrity, or true communication anymore it is big business and it bothers me that women's sports has been a victim of it. Money drives sport--it is all about the game you will hear. Don't kid yourselves it's all about the money.<br />
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When was the last time that you saw any field hockey game in the NCAA Finals in front of 50,000 screaming fans with painted faces, commercials, Nike sponsorships and Chris Berman announcing?? I can't take the digressions...but at the end of the day we as a society are to blame for the men coaching our sports. We do not see women as strong sports leaders, we don't see women as articulate messengers of competitive engagement, we don't see women as someone to believe in...This is at the core of the issue, and I believe that it starts at home with the messages we send to our sons and daughters. </div>
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SO yes ladies...it is time to wake up and educate your kids, your nieces and nephews, and anyone that you can adults included about how women have strength and can deliver a coaching message naturally. Women's skill sets NATURALLY go along with what coaches SHOULD be expected to do. And women excel in these skills. Let me name a few--organizing (what a good coach does), and encouragement (another good coaching trait), and multi-tasking (check), and forgiveness (coaching)...you see what I mean? These are all what we typically associate with FEMALE traits. But we may not see coaches as these types of people--We don't see coaches as educators, as the keepers of the athletic experience for BOTH genders. Coaches are heralded for what we view as male related--X's and O's (technical knowledge) or competitive mentality with a no blood no foul mentality--the competitive edge. Managing a team culture is undervalued. Does it surprise you that these are the things that women may do best??<br />
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Unfortunately, generally when you see sports on TV, the MEDIA's vision of a coach is a fierce, in your face competitor. Virtually no woman (sans yours truly) really wants to be that vision!! The media feeds us that vision of a coach, and also feeds that vision into parents, athletic directors, coaches, doctors, lawyers, teachers, and anyone else who is watching that gosh dang TV of how they want coaches perceived!! It is never the face of Polly Anna comforting, it is Nurse Rachet kicking butt and taking names--and we all know that no one liked Nurse Rachet!! Now there is a difference between being a fierce in your face competitor and a raging lunatic --can you really tell the difference on TV or in the stands? But it is more acceptable for men to be this way. And only sports that make money (or are perceived to make money) like women's basketball embrace this vision of women coaches. Athletics Directors across the country hire Polly Anna. Poly Annas are easier to manage and may not challenge. They may accept less for their athletes and usually accept less in the way of salary for themselves.</div>
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Here are my observations as a woman who has coached for essentially a lifetime--since 1986-87!!</div>
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<li>that for whatever reason men think that they can do all things even if they have never experienced or done them before</li>
<li>that men think that they belong anywhere--even if its in a sport where people wear skirts--er hmm kilts</li>
<li>that women think they need to be helped by men and that men always think women need their help--I wonder why!!</li>
<li>and the "good guys" always get the jobs and that strong women are called bitches and not all (but most) of the coaching jobs either go to men or how do I say this gently--non confrontational, non challenging women...women who may not be perceived at least on the surface as hard or strong get hired.</li>
<li>men are better coaches for athletic directors because they will listen and believe that women don't deserve as much </li>
<li>women devalue what they bring as a coach to the table--(see above) and do not stay in the game long enough to find out if they are good coaches</li>
<li>young women are overpowered by young men in the game</li>
<li>older women are overpowered by young men in the game</li>
<li>women do not support each other</li>
<li>women athletes liked to be coached by men-shocker what voice have they heard to and from the rink and on the ice for their whole lives?</li>
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Is it all gloom and doom?--pretty much--unless the National Governing Bodies (ie. USA Basketball, Soccer, Ice Hockey etc.) and NCAA step in and do their part as active not passive legislators and offer monetary incentives for valuing women as leaders...think about what your vision is of a coach?? I'd bet your vision doesn't involve a skirt...</div>
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Digit Murphyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07564715196040324558noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-189409018341511413.post-14529898651736748762011-08-24T11:10:00.000-07:002019-12-04T10:29:09.545-08:00Certain people should not RUN for exercise...<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Have you ever been in your neighborhood taking a stroll or exercising on a walking or running path, and some guy or lady runs past you with a grimace, scowl, or pained look? And you can only think "my god why do these runners torture themselves"??!! Well every morning my partner and I take a stroll on a local exercise path and we pass by several people with the same grimace! It is my belief that they should not be running--I applaud them for their effort to exercise but I questions their choice of exercise!! I am a little fearful that I might be calling 911 and doing CPR!!</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">So what is it with our society and obsession? Americans seem to take everything to the max and go overboard! We do things like running to the point of pain or obsession. We are doing marathons, triathlons, mini triathlons, walk-a-thons, bike-a-thons you get my point. We also think that if we exercise it is preventing us from illness. I think that there have been several runners who have been in tip top shape and who have dropped dead of a heart attack?! I just don't get it? I am intrigued on my walks by the faces of the runners. I ask my self--Who are these people in real life and why do they do it?! Again, I applaud their motives but question their method.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Yesterday, we saw a woman who may have been in her sixties chugging along with her long, grey pony tailed, wiry hippie hair pumping her arms and hips in a manner that I can only describe as a bad impersonation of Seinfeld's bad dancer Elaine turned runner! While I commend this lady I am concerned that she may not make it to her destination! We haven't seen her since!</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Another intriguing running enigma to me and I am convinced that many of you have seen this woman running--she resembles a living skeleton, has baggie spandex, and you can literally see her butt bones--I cannot believe that these women think they look good?! And I am not talking lean and mean skinny I am talking down right emaciated!! I feel so bad that our obsession as a society with body image results in this type of behavior. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Another stereotypical runner that I think SHOULD NOT BE RUNNING-- is the really really large man who dons the sweat suit in the 95 degree heat wave and takes to the jogging path?!! I mean seriously...it took you that long to get that large I don't think turning back the clock to your high school wrestling days in the rubber suit is going to help!! Go slow and shut your pie hole!</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">But why do people run anyway? It just doesn't seem natural? I guess that I take that back...for some people running makes sense. The runner that makes sense to me is the runner who has gotten to the point that they love it...it makes them feel good...they feel like it completes them. I guess my experience has been with the novice and it looks so painful that I just can't wrap my arms around the benefits?! I have lived a pretty athletic life but I never took to running. Maybe it is because I am a hockey player and it is hard for my body to run especially long distances. My hockey legs just don't seem to want to go for a long distances? So I guess my bias stems from the fact that I could never feel comfortable doing it. It never felt right--maybe because I have a low threshold for pain or a higher threshold for common sense to preserve my own body?! </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">What doesn't make sense to me is that there are a bunch of people who I know that used to run but they don't run anymore because they are injured. They have had to order replacement parts for their bodies like hips and knees?! Several of my friends have had foot surgery mostly due to overuse and running! In the end it doesn't seem like the result of running is worth it. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Lastly, maybe I am jealous of all of those Marathon running machines with that much discipline--or maybe it is an asset and I am envious of... that they are more obsessively committed to something than us moderators! Well I do have respect for what they endure on a regular basis so runners unite! I am silently cheering for you and hope that someday the pain you appear to be experiencing isn't as obvious to the rest of us!!</span></div>
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Digit Murphyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07564715196040324558noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-189409018341511413.post-73817447998062778842011-08-18T03:39:00.000-07:002019-12-04T10:23:40.717-08:00Where Did All the Good People Go?<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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I grew up in an age not long ago where people were good...not mean. Everyone these days seems self absorbed, self important, and self serving...where is has our sense of propriety gone? Where are our manners? When did it become not fashionable to treat older people with respect and dignity? When did Snooky instead of the President become our hero?<br />
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It always intrigues me the way that people behave--usually poorly! And I don't walk around thinking that I am better than everyone--I actually do become one of these "mean" people from time to time even though I try to rise above and fight the urge to be mean or inconsiderate!! <br />
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I think that it is easier to be mean and fall into the trap of evil. I think that I learned in junior high that John Locke said--"man is basically good" I think in the year 2011, he would change his statement to "man is basically inconsiderate, mean spirited, and selfish"... The unfortunate thing is that if we don't get out heads out of our butts we will wake up one day cold and lonely--or better yet cold and connected to someone that you absolutely hate!!<br />
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So here is what I think will make us all a little less mean for what it is worth--and again my partner would tell you that I am one of those inconsiderate selfish people...but perspective is everything ;)<br />
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<li>hold doors for other people--it makes you feel like you helped someone--little things mean a lot!</li>
<li>smile a lot especially when people are mean--they probably are having a bad day!</li>
<li>make eye contact with people you'd be surprised at how much it helps make you feel a connection it disarms the mean people.</li>
<li>call people you know on the phone or talk to them in person--it is a lot easier to be mean in an email or text instead of face to face and if you are less mean you are more happy!</li>
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So the moral of the story is...be nice not mean! It will help all of the good people be even better!!</div>
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Digit Murphyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07564715196040324558noreply@blogger.com2